Funerals might be changing but when it comes to the death of someone close, one thing remains constant: the need for closure.

This is something we’re trying to help bereaved people with as more families choose an unattended funeral, which some describe as a direct cremation or a pure cremation, popularised by the national online provider by the same name.

None of us want to be seen as a burden on those we care about – so, it’s understandable that many are attracted to the idea of a simple send-off.

However, for families left behind, the question around finding closure remains hanging in the air. Rather than eliminating “fuss”, it can in fact cause anguish and confusion.

At H. Porter & Sons we understand this all too well. And we are blessed in that we are one of the few funeral directors locally to have a dedicated function space that can host small to medium-sized memorial gatherings and services.

This worked extremely well recently for Paula and her family who turned to us in their hour of need. Here’s how she describes the experience.

“On the 5th of November sadly our lovely mom passed away. Prior to her death she had talked about having just a direct cremation, and her wishes were that she didn’t want a traditional funeral. We talked about this with the team at H. Porter & Sons and felt that having just a direct cremation didn’t provide closure for our family,” Paula said.

With that in mind, our colleague Lucy Parker, sat down with Paula and her family to “explore ways to honour both mom’s wishes and the family’s emotional needs”.

“After careful consultation with the family and consideration of a range of possibilities, we decided to go ahead with a direct cremation, but organised a service in The Lounge, led by Pastor Jill Berry,” Lucy explained.

The family had the flexibility of being able to place flowers and photographs of mom in the venue, which offered a more relaxed setting for loved ones to gather, pay their respects and share precious memories over a comforting buffet.

“It was a lovely day under the circumstances. My mom had her wishes honoured and we experienced the closure we were looking for as a family,” Paula said.